Peace

Once again, I have moved on from my work.  All I can say is that I felt God's peace when I took the new job offer and I know that I will be in good hands.  It's amazing to see what God does as He leads me through every step of my life.

Things can be havoc at home but I also know that god is in charge.  Why worry when you have the Lord God on your side?  That is something I gotta always keep reminding myself.  Life is definitely a challenge but knowing that the Lord is with me makes things a little bit easier.

This week is a heaven sent week for me.  I will chill and relax, making sure that things are alright.  In the meanwhile, it's decluttering period again for me =D

I am reminded

Today, I am reminded to give thanks to God no matter what happens in my life, no matter what I am feeling at this point in time, no matter how difficult things or how wonderful things may be.  For the past week, I realised that I was choosing to be critical, to be mean, to be nasty and what not.  This is because I was feeling miserable, feeling upset, feeling down and all.  Yet through out the week, God, through His word and through the devotion I was doing, reminded me the importance of giving thanks.

This morning, even before practice starts, though we were late to start and all, I chose to give thanks to God for the opportunity to serve Him that morning with all my brothers and sisters.  I wasn't feeling it really, and I could've allowed whatever I was feeling through the week to bring me down, to make choose not to do my best for God.  But I chose to remember what God was trying to tell me, and to give thanks to Him.  I gave thanks to God for the opportunity to serve Him, for the opportunity to sing for Him.  I gave thanks for the freedom that we have in worshipping our Lord without fear.  I give thanks for the freedom to lift up my voice and to lift up my hands and to be able to freely proclaim His name to people around me.

Even right now, I choose to give thanks for being able to write this post, to have internet to post it and to share with those who are interested in it.  I truly am grateful.

I guess sometimes, we, living our lives everyone, threading on that path that we think will lead us to a better life, we forgot to stop, reflect and thank God for those little things that He has blessed us with.  Sometimes, along my life, I do have to admit that, thinking of what I want and dwelling on all those big issues and worries of life, I forgot to thank God for those blessings He have placed along my path.

Lord, thank you for your wonderful and timely reminder.  Forgive me for always criticising, thinking of the bad side of things, being negative and even being sarcastic.  Help me once again to be positive, to be reminded to give thanks at all times.  Change me oh Lord I pray, and make me anew once again in You.  I pray this simple pray from the bottom of my heart in the name of my wonderful Lord and Saviour, Jesus... Amen

Weddings

It's that time of the year where I get bombarded with many wedding invites.  At this age and this time, it's pretty much a frequent happening in my life, as many of my friends are getting married and all.  I always am touched when these people share their love life and love story with us all.  Although to some of us, it's just another wedding dinner that we attend, but I guess, to those lovely couples, it is an outward sign of their desire to share their happiness with us.

To those of you who are married, remember, the wedding ceremony/ dinner is the very first outward sign that you show to the world that you are spending the life together.  Remember that this is the very beginning of a long journey together.  Maybe along the way, you face some disagreement, or even argue and fight each other.  Maybe along the way, there are times when you are tired and wanting to get away from each other for that little bit of "me" time.  Always remember, you made  a commitment to spend your life together, till death do you part. Remember, those arguments, those fights, those private times that you yearn, are still all there.  Don't hold on to those negative things, but learn to see those lovely memories of your relationships.  Remember those times when you smile just because he or she is by your side, remember what those moments when you decided to fall in love with your partner.  Remember those times when you laughed with each other over those silly antics or actions you've made to each other, remember those times when just a mere thought of him or her brings a smile to your face.

Even if you are in the midst of difficult moments, be thankful for those moments, because I believe those moments allows you to get to know the person better.  Not just when things are good, but you see how that person is when things are bad too.  For better or for worse.... that's the vow you made before God and men. So, when the worse comes, don't let it overwhelm you, but rather, turn to your partner and say, I know things are tough for us now, but I am thankful for that we are in this together, so that we can walk through this together and come out of it together as well.

To all my lovely couple friends, may the good Lord continue to bless the two of you at all times, no matter what circumstances that you are facing or you may be in.

One by one leaving...

It seems that more and more people are leaving.  Yet, I am still around.. sometimes, I wonder if I made the right decision coming here, but since the decision has been made, I have been sticking around to see how things will go.  Yet, looking at things, I am unsure if I should stay on or move forward.

Friends can be upsetting sometimes

I can't believe that there are friends who can really upset you at times.  What's more these are friends with whom you have been close with for so many years.  They know you well enough and yet, they still do crazy things to you.   Sometimes I wonder if it's worth it, to take the time to hang out with them and chill with them, yet in many things you're forgotten. 

I am just feeling very upset right now, and I don't like my feelings right now.  Things are not easy for me and it's saddening to know that you're being neglected or being treated as something else.

The Reason to Worship

Why do you worship?  What are the reasons/driving factor for you to worship?  Is it the passion to play the instruments?  Is it the passion to sing?  For me, it's just as simple as a desire, a desire to sing for Him.. That's my motivation to sing, my motivation to worship, my motivation to lift my voice to Him.

Decluttering Process in my Life

I read somewhere in Organising Queen that organising takes time and effort.  You also need discipline (I slack on that part) and to set aside time to do it.  It doesn't mean that you need to set one full day.  Just some time everyday to re-organise things.  Well now, before we go into organising things, we need to get rid of old things.

By habit and nature, I like to keep things.  If I do look/ dwell deeper, it runs in the family.  That aside (something I will explore later in my life), I realised that in order kickstart the organising of my life, I first need to do some decluttering in my life. 

I have a lot of papers lying around in my room.  Some I don't even know why I am keeping them and etc.  That aside, my chest drawer is a mess, it contains clothes and other stuff!  Woah, talk about being disorganised.  Taking the cue that I can do just a little bit a day, I decided to get started with my chest of drawers.  Like I said, the drawers are full of things!  I made a mental note of what I really want to be kept in each drawers (4 of them) and I decided to tackle them! Sorry, no pictures to show, too shy, coz it's in a serious mess.. haha... Well, I did not actually tackle all of them in a go, but I decided to tackle the 1st two drawers.  One is for shirts and another is for pants.  What I did was I pulled out everything that's in there, chucked aside all those that doesn't fall into the shirt or pants category and refolded my shirts and pants so that it could fit into those drawers.  End result's good!  I'm satisfied with it too.  

Doing this makes me think of my spiritual life too.  We always think that we need to do a whole lot of things and set aside a lot of time to God.  As I was sharing with my pastor, she said exactly that we just need to allocate time to God and we need to learn to be creative with it.  What I can do is, to wake up and spend half an hour with God; be it singing to Him, reading my devotion for the day, or just praying, talking to Him.  And I can end my day by allocating another half an hour to be with God; by doing my bible college study materials.  Then it just hits me, hey, that ain't so bad afterall.  I don't actually need to force myself to do it everyday and then feel bad because I'm tired and thus ended up not spending time with God at all.  Ever felt that way?  If you do, do join me to take some time and play around with time so that we can organise ourselves and set discipline in our lives, both in the context of spending time with God, as well as in the context of getting ourselves organised.  It's a process; like what my pastor said; it's a process which we need to learn to implement in our lives, so that we may learn to be able to discipline ourselves more.

So easy

Why is it so easy to give up? Why is it so easy to let go? Why is it so easy to forget sometimes?  I do wonder, I often wonder, yet also, I often push my thoughts aside and not think.  Oh Lord my God, help me to focus on what's right, good and correct.  Help me to see beyond the now and into the future.  Help me to look beyond the situation right now but think of the possibilities.

Is it ever possible for us to see? Is it ever possible for us to think beyond ourselves? Yet, many a times we are slaves to ourselves, allowing ourselves to buy whatever we want, do whatever we want because we think that pleasure is all that there is.  But Lord, U know that there is always more.  We are the temple of God, our bodies are it.  Do we serve man (ourselves included) or do we serve a mighty God.  Need to learn the fact that we need to look beyond self in order to look toward God.  That is it not always about ourselves, not just bless ourselves with the finest.

I've seen, that when one gives beyond what they are capable of (be it finance, time and themselves), the amount of blessings in the from of joy from the heart overflows.  My God is not just a god whom we serve, but He is a God who desires relationship with us.  He wants to talk to us, He wants us to know Him so much that He was willing to give His son for us.  Who could ever do that?  Man can say that they are willing to give their lives for their loved ones... but remember, words are easy.  Marriages tumble here and there and relationships get broken along the way because sometimes, words are just that easy.  Yet, with God, He proved it when Jesus died on the cross.  Oh Lord, U are just so amazing, and again, I am left speechless in Your presence.

Even as Your hands continue to touch me and touch my heart, please oh Lord, remove the pride that is in me, remove the selfishness that's within me, replace it with Your heart oh Lord.  What do I really want is for U oh Lord, to always dwell in me, to always live in me, to always be with me, to always hear my cry and know where I am.

Teach me to be content with what I have, to be content with the fact that U will provide all that I need....

Red Marbles...

An article shared by a friend on FB.  Serves as a reminder to me... and this is one of those moments where I am reminded to be thankful for those blessings poured onto my life.  Thank you, whoever you are.  You know you've blessed me with that small act of yours.  Remember, it may be small to you, but it means a lot to me.

It is not what you gather but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived!

I was at the corner grocery store buying some early potatoes. I noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean, hungrily appraising a basket of freshly picked green peas.

I paid for my potatoes but was also drawn to the display of fresh green peas. I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes.

Pondering the peas, I couldn't help overhearing the conversation between Mr. Miller (the store owner) and the ragged boy next to me.

'Hello Barry, how are you today?'

'H'lo, Mr. Miller. Fine, thank ya. Jus' admirin' them peas. They sure look good.'

'They are good, Barry. How's your Ma?'

'Fine. Gittin' stronger alla' time.'

'Good. Anything I can help you with?'

'No, Sir. Jus' admirin' them peas.'

'Would you like to take some home?' asked Mr. Miller.

'No, Sir. Got nuthin' to pay for 'em with.'

'Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?'

'All I got's my prize marble here.'

'Is that right? Let me see it' said Miller ...

'Here 'tis. She's a dandy.'

'I can see that ... Hmmmmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of go for red. Do you have a red one like this at home?' the store owner asked.

'Not zackley but almost ...'

'Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you and next trip this way let me look at that red marble'.. Mr. Miller told the boy.

'Sure will. Thanks Mr. Miller.'

Mrs. Miller, who had been standing nearby, came over to help me.. With a smile she said, 'There are two other boys like him in our community, all three are in very poor circumstances. Jim just loves to bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes, or whatever. When they come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he doesn't like red after all and he sends them home with a bag of produce for a green marble or an orange one, when they come on their next trip to the store.'

I left the store smiling to myself, impressed with this man. A short time later I moved to Colorado, but I never forgot the story of this man, the boys, and their bartering for marbles.

Several years went by, each more rapid than the previous one. Just recently I had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho community and while I was there learned that Mr. Miller had died.

They were having his visitation that evening and knowing my friends wanted to go, I agreed to accompany them. Upon arrival at the mortuary we fell into line to meet the relatives of the deceased and to offer whatever words of comfort we could.

Ahead of us in line were three young men. One was in an army uniform and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark suits and white shirts ... all very professional looking. They approached Mrs. Miller, standing composed and smiling by her husband's casket. Each of the young men hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her, and moved on to the casket ...

Her misty light blue eyes followed them as, one by one; each young man stopped briefly and placed his own warm hand over the cold pale hand in the casket. Each left the mortuary awkwardly, wiping his eyes.

Our turn came to meet Mrs. Miller. I told her who I was and reminded her of the story from those many years ago and what she had told me about her husband's bartering for marbles. With her eyes glistening, she took my hand and led me to the casket.

'Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you about. They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim 'traded' them. Now, at last, when Jim could not change his mind about color or size ... they came to pay their debt.'

'We've never had a great deal of the wealth of this world,' she confided, 'but right now, Jim would consider himself the richest man in Idaho.'

With loving gentleness she lifted the lifeless fingers of her deceased husband. Resting underneath were three exquisitely shined red marbles.

The Moral: We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds. Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath ...

Today I wish you a day of ordinary miracles ~ A fresh pot of coffee you didn't make yourself ... An unexpected phone call from an old friend ... Green stoplights on your way to work ...The fastest line at the grocery store ... A good sing-along song on the radio ... Your keys found right where you left them. 

God; The Navigator of My Life

The devotion from Our Daily Bread on my birthday hits the mark:

This is again a moment that God made me realise that He is in control of my life.  I thinking through some matters in my life and I do need guidance from Him.  Three days have passed since my birthday, yet God still wants me to revisit this devotional article.  What a reminder from Him, to remember that He is indeed the navigator of my life.

As I come before You tonight oh Lord, I trust that You are navigating my path even right now.  I cast my concerns, my worries and my burdens in Your hands.  Grant me Your peace that is beyond this world as I learn to make the right decision and take the right path in my life.  Thank You once again, for Your wonderful reminder that I can trust You with my life, no matter what the journey may be for me.  All these I give thanks to You, in Christ's beautiful name I pray, Amen

Thank You for a Wonderful Birthday Celebration....

This is dedicated to all my friends! You guys have been such a blessing to me that I don't know what else to say but a big thank you and I wish I could give you all a big, big hug.  It's my birthday today, and you've really made my day by bombarding me on facebook! Haha... it's amazing!

You know, there are people who asked me what did I get today as a present.  I would say this, I received affirmation of friendships from my friends and numerous blessings from them just from their simple wish of birthday to me today.  You see, it's not the material things that matters, but a lot of times, it's the intangible things such as friendship.  Like faith in God, I cannot see it, but I know I have faith and hope in Him who gave me life.  Likewise my friends, we may not see each other often, but you know what, thank you! for being there during those seasons of life that we have spent together.  Some may be short, some may be long, but know that I do cherish your friendship because you are a gift from God to me through the different seasons of my life.  Maybe for some, our paths may never cross again, but one amazing thing about technology is that it bridges the gap between us.  Maybe we may never meet face to face, but knowing that we are connected still via facebook, I think, that's amazing right?

So, once again....

THANK YOU!!!



Love always...



Dear Lord, thank U for my friends who have been there for me in the past, for those who are here for me right now, and for those who will be there for me in the future!  I pray that U will bless them abundantly as they have blessed me through their friendships! 

I want to Seek More of You Oh Lord....

This song... of all songs.... is my prayer to You oh Lord.  This is that one moment in my heart that says, oh Lord... I want to melt in Your peace.... this is that one moment in my life again... that moment that I was searching for...

D 
The more I seek You 
A 
The more I find You 
Bm 
The more I find You 
G 
The more I love You 

Chorus: 
D 
I wanna sit at your feet 
A 
Drink from the cup in Your hands 
Bm 
Lay back against You and breathe 
G 
Feel Your heart beat 
D 
This love is so deep 
A  
It's more than I can stand 
Bm  
I melt in Your peace 
G 
It's overwhelming

These verses stirred my heart....

Was doing my homework when I came across these few verses:

John 6:35
Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life.  He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty."

John 8:12
When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said," I am the light of the world.  Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."

John 11:25-26
Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life.  He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.  Do you believe this?"

Jesus is life and life is Jesus.  I felt as though these verses are telling me, when you have Jesus you have life.  Do you want life? Then have a want for Jesus too, for He is life.

Somehow this picture reminds me of my freedom in life when Jesus is in my life.... May it bless you as I am blessed...

Faith

When it comes to faith, one asks a lot of questions.  What is faith? What does it actually mean? What does it entails?  A lot of times, faith is explained as believing in something that you cannot see or feel.  The dictionary.com define faith as confidence or trust in a person or thing.  But when it comes to Jesus Christ, what is faith?  It's easy to say, have faith sister or brother, have faith that God is in control and etc.  But when reality hits you right at your face, can you still say have faith?  Can you still have faith?

Faith hits me right at the face tonight, when I busy myself managing the stage for Jaeson Ma Music Rally at PGRM.  Faith hits me when Ps Joeann shared that we have nothing, no money at all, just a vision and a dream to do a big one for God.  Money is something we do not have.  But what we have then, is faith.  Faith to step out and say, God, here I am, use me for I am yours.  Faith is when everything is telling you it's the wrong thing to do, it's the worse ever commitment you're going to make, you'd say yes for God.  Faith, is believing beyond what we can see right now, and believing and trusting and KNOWING that this is what God calls us to do, and He will bring it to pass.  This team that has come together, showed me what their faith in God truly is.  Their faith shows me that, no matter what fear or worries we may have, we can have faith in God knowing that He is in control.  Their faith shows me that, no matter what you plan or want things to work out, we can have faith in God, knowing that He is our master and holds the blueprint of our plans in His hands.  Their faith shows me that God works beyond what is right now and He can work in you and I to go beyond what situation we may be in right now.  Their faith shows me too, that we can dream big in God, because if we have that faith, and out of that faith, born passion and desire to go beyond our own limitations for God, we can achieve great things for Him.  We may be ordinary people, but we have an extraordinary God and because of that, we can do extraordinary things for Him too!  And all this start from faith.

Faith is such a simple word, but yet, it carries such a weight in its meaning.  Faith...  Do you have enough faith in God?  Can you say and mean it from your heart that God is in control of your life?  Can you tell God, lead me oh Lord, that I may have faith to see beyond what I can see right now, and to be confident in You and trust that You are leading me?  Faith....

Declutter: A number of stuff

Like I was saying, I've accumulated heaps of things for a while now and so I am in the midst of getting rid of them when time permits.  Sometimes I get so busy with work that I just tune out once I reach home.  Here's some stuff that I've decluttered over the past week or so.

Gave this to a friend when I found out it was breaking me out!  So off it goes to someone whom I think could use it.

I was keeping this eyeliner that I bought for ages and finished up for ages because I love the smudge that comes with it.  Since I purchased a new eyeliner with smudge, so off it goes to the bin!

a darling friend of mine bought this for me a few years back from Australia.  Because it was hard (I mean literally hard inside!), I've been keeping it aside, until I decided that it's too hard to use and too heavy to keep (the bottle is a glass bottle =.=).  So, off it goes to the bin.  I actually contemplated of recycling it, since it's a glass bottle, but.. the thought of needing to dig the balm out *shudder* so I just toss it.

This was also a gift from my friend when I met her in Aussie.  She's such a darling ok! Always buy me stuff.  Anyhow, I did use it for a while because I was breaking out and I found it helps.  But recently when I attempt to use it again, it smells funny, so off to the bin it goes.

Another session of decluttering well done, don't ya think?  More to come!

Moment

It is right at this moment where God is so real.  It is right at this moment that I am blown away by the wonders of my God.  I am amazed, so amazed that I am speechless.  Oh Lord, U are truly such an amazing God.  Who am I really, that U would choose me?  Oh Lord my God, U, truly, truly are so amazing.  This is the moment that I want to capture, the moment when U touch me, the moment when U reminded me of who I am in U.

U, even before I was named, even before I was born, already have such an amazing name for me.  I am touched by Ur grace, each and every day, and oh Lord, may I be a reflection of Ur grace in my life.  May people who see me, sees Ur grace me in and through me, find Ur grace in their life too.  May people who see me, finds favour in Ur eyes.

I pray oh Lord, that I may continue to be the vessel U use to expand Ur kingdom, not a kingdom of war, but of grace.  It is by Ur grace that we are saved, and by Ur grace we find life, by Ur grace we find peace and hope in this life that we are living.

Blessings, love, peace.....

Organising: One in Two Out Practice

As some of you who are reading my blog would notice that I've currently started re-organising things in my life.  I'm starting with the physical things, so that I will be able to spread it to the emotional and spiritual side.  I don't think it's easy, because I always carry the "I think I'll need this for one of these days" or "This will definitely come in handy later".  I realised that this is causing me to hoard things and it's really hard to let go of thing when I'm in this mode.  So the decluttering session has happened.

I'll be very honest in saying that there are days where I still give in and ended buying additional stuff to add to my ever growing pile.  But I'm starting to do practice what I've read, which is to throw things for every new things that comes in.  Instead of doing the one in and one out method, I'm attempting the one in two out method, because I still need to get rid of more of the existing stuff in my room.  I'm still cheating though, for I'm still throwing papers away =p  But papers tend to be thrown a few more than just two, so I'm guessing that's a start. Let's hope that I'll be able to keep it up eh =D

Declutter: Work Table

My work table is a mess!  I took more than 15 minutes to declutter just one corner of it.  Here's the before and after picture:

Can you believe that this is just one corner of my table?  Sigh, it's such a mess and it was cramping my space to use my computer.  I was left only with space ample for my notebook.  I wanted to clean the other side too, but decided not to be over ambitious and focus on one thing at a time.

I threw away heaps of paper clutter and kept things simple.  The previous shoebox which I was using to store things weren't thrown away as I was stuffing it with more things.  I replaced it with a very nice paper bag, big enough to hold my books and rough papers, yet small enough to leave me some space at the side for a bible.  The rest is my study bible, which I intend to use and my devotional book, along with my writing book.  That is what I intend to keep for this little corner.  It's been a few days now, and it's still looking as such.  I am proud of myself!

Declutter: Drawer

My decluttering continues!  I opened one of my drawer and here's how it looks like!

What a mess I tell ya.  There's layers of stuff in it, papers, cds, cards and what not! So I've dumped quite a number of things from it, shredding my papers and binning some of the stuff here.  Now it looks like this:

Much more organised right? Woo hoo! I think I'm on a roll here... haha, hopefully it gets better.  I will need to start doing the 15 minutes per day decluttering session.  Makes it less guilty if I do buy some necessities home (yes, I'm trying to make sure I don't simply buy stuff now =D )

Declutter: Make Up

As mentioned yesterday, I'm on my mission to declutter all the things that I have.  One of things that I want to declutter is my make up stuff.  Okay, I like to buy things, hence, I do have a number of make up stuff which I never finish.  So what I am getting myself to do now is to finish up the things that I have before I buy.  So some of the things that I am binning this month is as below:

This is my second bottle of the Loreal Derma Genesis Pore Minimising Smoother.  I got it for like 3 to 4 months I think, and now it's done!  As I have other moisturisers in place, so I won't be re-buying this until I have finished.  Like I said, I want to finish up those stuff that I have first =D

Can you believe it??! This is the first blusher that I bought for myself like 2 years back.  I was using it diligently when it started breaking (see those balance there?)  Well, like I mentioned in my previous post, I tend to not be able to give up things that I have and continue keeping them even if I don't use them! So I've decided to keep it in picture form! What's better than to blog about the things that I binned! Woo hoo!  Bye bye darling blusher.  You've served me well.  

I bought this because I was wearing mascaras on certain days earlier and it came in cheap.  Probably about RM8 I think.  Well, it's not a very good product for me because the smell/chemical was too strong for my eyes and it kinda annoyed me on and off as I was using it.  Then I got my Maybelline eye make up remover and this was left aside (I bought the Maybelline when this thing was about to finish! I thought I would have the discipline to finish it sooner, but as usual, I failed.)  Anyhow, I forced myself to use it up a few days ago and viola! It's used up yesterday evening.  I am very proud of my little achievement and hopes to continue to bin more things in the coming future!  Be on the lookout for it mates!

Btw, do you have anything you need to start using up and binning? Do share with me =D

p/s: i think my maybelline eye make up remover is finishing soon! I'm eye-ing another make up remover and working out to save for it.  It's not expensive, but I'm on tight budget now and hopes to not over-spend. 

Declutter Sessions On!

Okay, I wrote a while back about organising my life and all.  Having read a number of blogs about organising, I realise that I tend to accumulate stuff and get attached to them; be it for reasons such as, it's a waste to throw them, or even just because I am plain lazy to take action to clean up.  In order for me to be able to start organising things in the physical sense, I need to start decluttering.  It's a super painful process, because I have a weakness for papers and stationeries; and these stuff can really accumulate and take up space I tell ya.  

I like to play around with stationeries, for the reason to design simple cards for friends; hence I have a bunch of pens lying around!  Well, the reason they are lying around is because my lil pouch that holds them were sooo packed to the extent whereby I can't even zip it.  That's the reason for the spillage.

I finally decided that I need to declutter it!  And out spill all the contents! Woah, that's heaps of pens I tell ya. What I did was to try out each and every pens to see if they are usable, or if they will be useful for me in the near future.  Those that are useless are then removed.  Check out the number of pens I threw!

Okay, with that done, I chucked all my stationeries back into my pouch:

And my attempts to zip it works! Woo Hoo! I am so happy with this.

Well, at least there's a start somewhere.  Surveying my table and room right now, I am sure there's a whole lot more decluttering to do.  But I guess I will start slow.  No use doing it at a go, and end up being soo tired that I cannot even finish one corner (this, I say from experience ok).  I am satisfied with what I have done and so I will be sure to tackle subsequent area next (eye-ing my drawer).  

I do like the 15-minute organising session which a few websites states, so I'll see when I can start doing it, since one decluttering session may take me a while! Haha... blessings

The meaning of my name

A friend was asking me to help her do a search for a name for her nephew and I was giving some suggestion when I thought, why not give my name a search?

Whilst doing a search on my name; it seems that my name's origin is from Hebrew.  Woah, that blows me away.  I mean, come on... God, You must be joking right?  That was my thought initially.  The meaning?

Sue = Hebrew origin which means Lily (pretty flower? graceful? I remember dancing lily)
A = Hebrew origin which means grace/ favour (God, are you kidding me? grace? lily; to me is associated with grace, so the stunning effect of my name)

Faint, God, You never fail to shock me eh?  I never knew that the totality of my name carries Your grace and favour.  I've seen Your favour in my life, I've seen Your grace, and accepted it in my life.  But to know that Your grace and favour follows me even before I knew You... that, I am speechless.

That's my second stunned moment by the way.

Third one coming up.  In chinese, my middle name is pronounced as "shu".  My friend explained to me this; your name means, virtuous.  Gentle and virtuous. I never realised that my chinese name and my english name tied together so well.  It's like God is speaking to me through my name.  For I am the Lord Your God, you have found favour in me, and I have granted you grace.  Be the woman that I have called you to be, gentle and virtuous (Proverbs 31).

Oh Lord my God, You truly know me.  Even before i was in my mother's womb, you have already called me by my name.  You know me even before I was born.  Who am i to doubt God?  Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth would care to know my name? But yet Lord, You've shown me again and again that You favour me and You love me.  Thank You Lord for Your grace, because it is through Your grace I have life.

Lord, I seek Your will and through this, I realise one thing.  Your will for my life is to be the woman You have made me to be.  A woman living her life to reflect the grace You have poured into her life, whose favour is found in You.  A woman described in Proverbs 31, not perfect in that sense, but striving to be the woman whom God has called me to be.

Oh, how majestic that You are.  Praise You oh Lord my God for You are worthy, so worthy to be praised.

Oh Lord

Oh Lord, even when life tries to overwhelm, even when trouble seems to be so huge, even when there isn't peace felt deep in the heart, I pray oh Lord, for Your grace and mercy, for Your peace and assurance, for Your hope and love.  I don't understand why some people act or react in the way they did, nor do I understand why they only allow their emotions to overwhelm and caused others hurt through their actions, but oh Lord my God, I  keep my eyes toward You oh Lord.  Help me to look beyond and see them as how You see them.  Help me to look beyond and realise Your love for them.  I want to learn to love them and learn to understand them as how You do.  May You oh Lord, continue to work in them so that they may once again turn their eyes towards You and see You as how You see them.  I know You have great plans to prosper them and to use them for the expansion of Your kingdom.  I pray oh Lord, for You to be the Lord of their lives.

Oh Lord, we believe, help us in our unbelief....

Dying man renews wedding vows with wife of 72 years

ANDERSON COUNTY — Vernon McAlister had a dream last week about the woman he has loved nearly all his life.

His wife Sue was in a room decorated with lace — “the most beautiful, beautiful lace” — and she stood near a window, bathed in sunlight and dressed in a lace gown and veil, waiting for him to marry her again.

After that dream, he was peaceful, sure of what he wanted to do next.

He asked the nurses at Hospice of the Upstate to help him stay alive a few more days. He wanted to celebrate his 72nd anniversary with his bride.

On Sunday, a day after their actual anniversary, the McAlisters celebrated their union by renewing their vows.

This time, they were not nervous.

She is 87 and he is nearly 93.

They have grown up together.

They have raised five children together.

Two years ago, they survived her battle with stomach cancer.

And still, they hold on to each other.

“He has taken care of me my whole life,” she said. “He has loved me and respected me and cherished me the way he said he would when I was just a young girl and he was just a young man. There is nothing to be nervous about when you are walking toward the person you love with your whole heart.”

In her pink dress and white veil, the bride stayed in a room separate from her groom and was shielded by the hospice staff. They didn’t want any bad luck.

Just a few feet away, her husband, from his room, was getting help with straightening his navy tie.

“Where is my bride?” he called out. “Where is my bride?”

Soon, they gathered with their friends and family in the dining room of the Rainey Hospice House.

And though he was in a hospital bed, Vernon McAlister’s eyes lit up when he saw her walking down the aisle. The first time they did this, he was almost 21, and she was 15 and a half.

“My father told me she would make a good wife,” he said. “Oh, I couldn’t have imagined how right he was. She is just purely wonderful. She is a jewel.”

They met on his father’s farm in Central.

Sue and her mother picked cotton on that farm, and one day, her mother encouraged her to go to Vernon in the field and talk to him.

“It was that beautiful smile that got to me,” she said. “It still does.”

The couple lived in Central for 40 years before moving to Anderson.

Nearly 30 years ago now, he retired from his work with the agronomy program at Clemson University and concentrated on church work and volunteering.

“We have not always had an easy life,” she said. “But if you put God first, you can endure and your marriage can endure.”

All of the couple’s children —their sons Tony, Phil, Van and Don McAlister and daughter Anita Floyd — were able to attend the ceremony.

“They are a testament to love,” Floyd said. “It is amazing how they support each other. And it is amazing how that dream of her has kept him going. That’s why we thought this ceremony was so important. That dream of her is all he has talked about.”

Doctors believe Vernon McAlister has just days left to live. He broke his hip recently, and doctors have told his children that it is a fatal injury for someone his age.

He has been in the hospice house for about three weeks. His wife is staying at the Magnolias of Anderson, an assisted-living complex nearby.

But on Sunday, they held hands, side by side.

Sue McAlister’s had trembled as she kissed her husband, cupping his chin and then smoothing his hair. Her husband looked at her with tears in his eyes and a smile on his face.

Family friend Bill French, who performed the ceremony, said a marriage like the McAlisters’ should be held up as an example for the world.

“When you took those vows all those years ago, when you said, ‘We will share our joys and sorrows as we walk through life together’ … no one could have known how long that walk would be,” French said. “You have fulfilled your promise, and God is smiling.”

© 2010 Anderson Independent Mail. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

http://www.independentmail.com/news/2010/jun/13/dying-man-renews-wedding-vows-wife-72-years/

Down with Flu

What started as a sore throat turned into flu within one day's time!  

Feeling upset as I'm down with flu right now.. ergh! Hope to get well soon.  Anyone has any good remedy for flu?  There's a prayer meet that I'm attending in church tomorrow! Haha.. hopefully I won't spread my germs to others =.=

But thank God I was able to attend church today.  It's such a blessing to be in church and to be able to vividly experience God.  What Ps Irene said is so true, something we know of, but until it hits us again right at the face, we tend to chuck it aside.  God is always, ever present with us.  Like the time with Moses and the Israelites, the Lord was with them with the cloud and fire, and God is ever present IN us through the Holy Spirit.  Woah, amazing revelation isn't it.

Dear Lord, thank U for speaking to me today.  I'm grateful for Ur word and for Ur revelation.  I pray that U will continue to reveal more of Urself to me as I learn to draw near to U.  oh Lord, grant me the willpower and the desire to draw close to U each and every day.  In Jesus most precious name I pray, AMEN!

Dilemma In Life

What would you do when life throws you a curve ball?  Do you go along with it, dodge it, let it hit you in the face?  This is one question that I am still struggling to answer at the moment.

Lord I pray that you will show me and guide me on how to go about it.  It's tough, but I betcha nothing's ever gonna be tougher than you dying on the cross for me.  For now, I'm thankful for this curve ball and I await eagerly to hear your voice on this.

In Jesus' most wonderful name I pray, Amen.

Simplicity of Love.

The simplicity of love, overclouded by the demands of humans, is sometimes seen to be something that is hard to seek.  In this world where we live in, it seems that love is about how much a person can provide for you, what the other person can give you, what the other person is willing to spend on you.  Living in these days whereby materialism seems to be the dominating factor, the simplicity of love seems to be hidden from us.  Human, I find, tend to see love as something that one can gain from, not something that one can give with no expectation in return.

I’ve seen love where one demands the other to be of a certain way, where one demands the other to change, where one demands another to give, where one constantly wanting to only receive, wanting to only take all the while selfishly keeping themselves at a distance.  I’ve seen love where manipulation is the key player; love where both parties put each other down so much and yet they do take in the abuse (yes, I see this abuse), love where one says, I’ve got no say because he/she is like that; I cannot voice out my thoughts or opinion because of the way he/she is.  I’ve also seen love where the other party became so weak just because of love, where she is no longer the person that she was. 

I am not saying that love is wrong, but yet, I believe that when one love, therein involves a sense of giving from both parties, a manner of respect for both parties, a sincerity of heart from both parties.  I’m not out to offend, but just to share my thoughts on love.

Love is beautiful, love is pure, love is simple, yet many times you see love being twisted to suit that particular person, and it can definitely be the heavy kind too.  We tend to twist it and say, I’m doing this because I love you, and I’m saying this because I love you, if you love me, you will… Things can get quite crazy sometimes.  Go figure. 

Living in Asia itself tells of a different kind of story too.  Asian culture isn’t helping when it comes to love, because our parents grew up in a life where words of love are not spoken, but words of reprimand and words of putting down others seems to be so prevalent.  I know, because I grew up living under this kind of love.  A love that doesn’t praise if you do well, rather, it seems to be expected of you.  Yet, a simple mistake not only attracts hurtful or reprimanding words, it also means that little bit of piercing in your heart.  I know this because I grew up with this kind of love.  Mind you, it’s not that I don’t love my parents, I love them dearly, but it’s sad to know that they aren’t able to profess their love to their children (my sibling and I) in a loving manner.   I believe too, this is a generational thing, because our parents grew up knowing only this kind of love and thus, it is through this kind of love that they show to their kids.  Something to think about eh, a generational issue.  Well, that in itself will be something to blog about at another time.

Back to love; 1 Corinthians 13: 4-9; 13 never fails to amaze me in its definition of love. 

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 ⁸Love never fails.

 ¹³And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

It’s easy to read the above and say, woah, but I believe, love in perfection is great!  But in reality, many would say, “nah, it’s too hard”, “if I love like that, I’ll only be hurt at the end” , “even in love I should protect myself” and etc.  I’ve also read in the other extreme whereby, “aiya, it’s ok that he’s scolding me or stopping me from going out, it’s just him”, “he always scold me, but I can take it’ and etc. 

Back to the simplicity of love; if both parties are able to trust each other, able to protect each other, choose not to put themselves before their loved ones, keeps no records of wrongs, I believe one will be able to fully love each other, and that itself is the simplicity of love.  We love because He first loved us (1 John 4:19).  Knowing that He chose to love us for who we are, we ought to also learn to love like Him.  What’s more, we are created in His image.  Without love, we will live in a world full of hate.  Can you imagine peace in such a world?  I honestly cannot. 

I’m not talking about perfect love, because we are imperfect and we are living in a world full of imperfection.  I’m talking about the willing to love simply, to love how we are loved, to love others for who they are, to love ourselves for whom God created us to be, to love as God loved us.  I’m not asking you to be perfect, but even as we learn to love the way love is as stated in 1 Corinthians 13, I believe we will love in a whole different level.  When we choose to love as written in 1 Corinthians 13; I believe this love will change not only the person we love, but also ourselves too.  What is love if we only expect the other to change?  Love changes us because life overflows out of love.  Hope overflows when we love. Peace overflows when we love.  We may not be able to love as wholeheartedly, but any attempt that we take is a change too.

Bear in mind, we need to make that change ourselves first before anything else.  How can we love others well if we don’t love ourselves well?  How can we see what love is if we don’t even love, respect and cherish ourselves?  If we are able to love ourselves first and foremost, I am sure that when you choose to love others, it will be a different kind of love too.  Nonetheless, loving oneself does not mean loving only self and satisfying only self.  That, in turn is called selfish love.  Yet, if we choose to love ourselves as what’s written in 1 Corinthians 13, I believe it will bring love to a different level for ourselves and for those around us. 

Love is not just a feeling, but it is also a commitment.  It’s something you work at, and not just relying on your own feelings contrary to what the movies tell you.  Love, work at it, learn it and spread it.

May the Good Lord’s love continue to envelope you dearly as you learn to love yourself and to love others as He love us.