YFeeling at a crossroad again. This time, it's not about work, but about ministry. Uncertain if I should continue when I feel burned out. I'm feeling the strain after having come back out to the "world" to work and deal with the things that happens in a corporate environment.
Don't get me wrong. I'm thankful to God that I am able to find a job after so many months. What I am feeling is the strain between balancing ministry life and work life. I'm tired looking at the things that is happening right now. Many of us are so busy with work life and right now, church seems to be having so many things which requires the involvement of the worship team that we come to the point where I want to say, I don't think this is working. Yet, there isn't anyone else voicing the same thing. We say one thing and we do another thing. Sometimes I wonder, is it worth it? What is the whole purpose of worship? What is the whole purpose of what we are doing now? Are we just doing it for the sake of doing it? Or are we putting ourselves out there and trying to be so many things and do so many things that we lose ourselves along the way.
I love worship. I really do. But how do I balance it? Is life just a series of choices where it's either work or it's ministry? I don't always believe that. I guess the ultimate question to this is, is Jesus at the centre of your life right now? Is it because he no longer is the centre that I am facing this struggle? A question that I have to say, I'm afraid to answer, and I guess, being afraid, I kinda do know the answer to it. Balance, life long skill of balancing with God in the middle.
Lord, help me to do so. I have come to the point I have to say, I'm done with this struggle Lord. The ministry is yours and yours alone. I am but a mere steward of this ministry. I can't make people do things that they don't want to, so I come to you right now in prayer, revive this ministry Lord. May the people who serve you have the passion to do so. May the people who is passionate about worship, uses that passion to serve you. I pray that Lord, you will unite this ministry together and may we have the same vision and same direction. Lord, I look to you for help and I know that you will reach out your hand to me. I have faith in that. So once again, I commit this ministry into your hands. You know the best. May we be stretched and be expanded so that we can be versatile and flexible.
In Jesus' name I pray, amen.
