So many thoughts running through my head these days... can't pinpoint them, can't focus on each of the thoughts. Sometimes feel so lost, so alone, so saddening to type this out, but this is what I'm feeling. Friends who read this, do not be alarmed.. it's just a natural state of mine, I am one who often like to write out my thoughts and feelings and usually after that it'll pass on.



I kinda understand why people are afraid of changes now. In the past I do not have the qualms to go to a different kind of environment and all, without qualms i would do it. This is quite obvious when I entered pre-u in sunway on my own, without any friends, and also when i enter monash in malaysia, also alone. These are some of the things I've made plans on my own and carried out on my own. Never did I ask where my friends are going, I just go my own direction. But yet now, there's this fear that's gripping me. I fear to take that one step forward, to move to a different stage in life. Do not know why it appears suddenly. I feel I'm not qualified as yet to go out to work. I am not ready, and I don't know when I'll be. I feel like a useless person at times. There's so many jobs out there that I can take up, yet I am hiding at home, away from the decisions that I have to make. Sigh..



I can't answer myself when I will have the courage to take the step, but I will continue to pray and ask God about this... for those who know me, do pray for me too, that I may have the courage to move in my life....