BZ as a BEE

Remembered the last time I was talking to a friend, whereby I told him, I'll only be tied up till mid-May. What an understatement! I'm still busy as a bee, rushing here and there, having a few projects at hand, and learning to juggle them.

This job really requires me to fly here and there... and although it is a blessing to travel, I do find it tiring.

Was in Singapore for some internal meetings end of May, and then again, at Singapore for the Emerge conference. A personal trip nonetheless, a good one, though still tiring and exhausting. God has been good, a time of refreshment in His presence. Open my eyes to see some things for myself. Some times that may not be visible to the church nowadays. Hopefully, things would be better... but that's a different story altogether.

I'm preparing to fly to Hong Kong this coming Sunday for another project. Thankfully, there isn't much that I need to do except to listen and write a report. But meeting clients and agency on my own for the first time. A little nervous perhaps... also need to portray myself to be mature, young professional. But be those that know her stuff and know what she's doing. Do I fit those criteria? I seriously have no idea, but will keep on praying.

Upside of this Hong Kong trip is that I'll be able to meet up with my Hong Kong friends whom I met in uni. I see this as GOd's blessing, for everywhere I've travelled up to date, I will be able to find existing friends there. I might not be able to meet some of them, but the mere thoughts that they are not far is a comfort to me.

Been working here for 6 months now, and things are going on a up-hill at the moment. How am I taking all these things in? I seriously have no idea. There are times where I'm so overwhelmed by so many things that I just felt that I can't take it. But at times, things are so slow that I feel so relaxed and all. Are things fine and dandy for me?

Not sure is the answer. I do like what I'm doing, but not all of it. I like the operational side of things, but not so much on the research side of things. This job opens my eyes to the different skills that I have. I'm not to say that I'm that bad in research, but it's just that....I don't know?? Shall seek God in this and see what His plans is for the future.

That aside, was chatting with a friend yesterday when he ask me about things re God. He asked, if God were to ask you to quit your job and serve Him full time, would you? Prior to this, was sharing with him about seeking God and see what God has to say about what to do next. My answer is this, the answer is yes. It may be a struggle in the beginning, but yea, I would do it.

Why I say it's a struggle? To move from working in a corporate world with a steady income to working for God and all... the struggle is the adaptation to things around me. But one thing I see is the advantage is that I would learn to depend on God more too. My friend, again ask me, if God wants you to go to Africa, would you go? I told him that if that's God's plan for me, for my life, I am sure He will provide for me and all. He would definitely not give me anything or put me in circumstances that I cannot handle. It again, may be a struggle in the beginning, but GOd is with us.

My friend shared that he might not have the strength to do that. God does not demand us to use our own strength to do things for Him. But rather, God seeks one who has a willing heart. Look at David, a small boy, one that people will not choose. But God chose him because of his willingness, because of his heart for God. Look at Moses, one who can't really speak well, stutters when he speaks, an old man... but God chose him to bring the Israelites out of Eygpt.

I'm not saying that I am a saint or that I would not struggle if God calls me to serve Him. Maybe I would, in the sense that I'm worried about finances, I'm worried about my parents and how they would accept that fact, for they've worked hard to put me through university and I turn around and say I wana serve God full time. Them being non-christian might not be able to understand or accept it. But I believe that if that's what's God's plan is for my life, we just need to hold on to Him and trust Him on it.

I pray and hope that those who are reading this... don't think you're a weak person or that you are just not capable of doing what God calls or asks you to do. God will not demand from us something that we are totally not capable of. It may just be that you have yet to discover this capability of yours :) Have faith and continue to trust that God will bring you through whatever He has planned for you.

May God bless you abundantly my friends.