Heart of Gold



What is Your Heart REALLY Made of?
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It's amazing to know that God is truly with you. It's amazing to know that he knows every single detail in your life. I'ts truly amazing.. and frightening...

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Heart's uncontented

Seeking more to life

Turning here and there

Yet so clouded by everything



What do I want?

What do I seek?

Is it Him?

Or is it something else?

I wonder

Truly wonder



Yet my heart's crying out

I want more of You!

Can I have that?

Can I reach out to Him?

Struggling, pushing

Fighting

Yet I'm still far from Him



I want You Lord!

Yet, I do the opposite things

What a fake I am

What a hypocrite that I am



Sad, so sad

Engulfed by loneliness

Engulfed by sadness

I want You..

I still hear that faint cry from my heart....

Did this little test and I found out that I am this color... werid, since most of the time I can't carry blue

BLUE You give your love and friendship unconditionaly. You enjoy long, thoughtful conversations rich in philosophy and spirituality. You are very loyal and intuitive. Find out your color at Quiz Me!

Getting bored with my blog, think I'll do something to it soon.....

Wah Lau EHHH!!! I spent so much time tokking on the phone today! Haha, thanks din din for calling me lar. I have so much fun tokking to you on the phone! So long din like really chat liao lor!



And also, when I came home from work I called my friend Chia Wei and spoke to her for like over an hour! Wah lau eh.. damn keng ar.. haha... but now damn tired...

It's 3 plus and I am still up! Oh my gosh!! What is this? And I am supposed to wake up earlier tomorrow as I have some errands to do! Sigh, I guess me being me, a stubborn person lor...



Want to share about some things, but will start slowly as I need to collect my thoughts.



Wana tok about work. Well, I've been working for three months liao and I guess it's time for me to think about it and have a talk about it. What do I think of the job. In a way, it's kinda cool working here as I am meeting lotsof people around my age and the working environment is pretty cool too. However, if you ask me if I am enjoying myself, I would say yes and no. It's not that things ain't good here, but I guess in a way, I don't see myself working too long here. Yet, I shall contradict myself by saying that there is a future if one does work here. Yet, I do ask myself, do I want to work here for a long period of time? Is this what I want to do? What have I studied? Shouldn't I be working what I've studied? Seriously have no idea at the moment... sometimes i feel like hey, I should take up job that is relevant to my studies, that is marketing and e commerce. But at the same time, in marketing, mostly positions available are like sales and I do not want to do that. Someone asked me before, if you don't want to do sales, then why you take up marketing in the first place? i wonder myself too. Though I know in the beginning that this isn't what I really want, yet I went ahead. But no regrets taking this subject though, not because of the major itself, but rather, it was a privilege to have known people. I know if I have taken another course, I might not have known so many people as I have known now. I might not even go to Gippsland campus and know the people there. I might have not known the close friends that I have right now. Hence, I do not regret majoring what I've majored. Given a choice, I wouldn't mind going back to study, but this time I would take up something else, something that I have more interest in.



About life in general, I am starting to try to start something in my life. Been asking around about vocal classes and all. Though they are still just some plans in my mind, yet I am glad that there's plans. Not that I want to go out and be a performer, but I love to sing and I want to learn more about it. I want to sing, to be better at it, not to show off but rather, so that I can use it for Him. I want to sing for Him, it's a passion of mine and I want to make it happen.



Life at current state ain't that good. Am living quite a routine life. One that shouts I AM BORED!!! Some things are too routine in my life right now. I miss the times where I would do things out of the blue. Walk to the park, walk to friends house. Cook something to eat for no reason, get together with friends to sing for no reason, go to the hexagon for no reason, go to uni with my heavy laptop for no reason, go out in the middle of the nite in the cold and look up the sky for no reason...



Actually i miss uni life i guess. Especially the one that I have in uni. Thanks man for making my life so enjoyable in Gippy... and thanks for being part of my life. I know it would be hard for us all to get together again, for we are from all walks of life. But the chance for us to know each other and to share a part of our lives has been a good one. I shall forever cherish the moments we have.



Sometimes I wonder if working life is really like this? I want something more out of my life. I don't just want to live life as it is right now. I know there is something more to life and I want to go out and grab it.



Sigh, damn late liao now. Gona head to bed now.....

Another one here :>



last person u kissd: my cousin sister! she's like my sister and i love her heaps!

last good cry: i can't remember..last year?

last library book checked out: The Bondage Breaker

last movie seen: i actually can't remember! shit!

last book read: Something more

last cuss word uttered:shit

last beverage drank: justea :D

last food consumed: Delicious homecooked food!

last phone call: My buddy Pui Yin (when my phone bill comes i'll die!!)

last tv show watched: I have not watched TV series for a few days now... but the last one is the chinese series... can't remember the title tho (Wah Lai Toi one)

last shoes worn: Adiddas

last cd played: A cd that i burnt recently

last item bought:CD by Avalon

last downloaded: now downloading a song from Chris

last annoyance: my messy room which i have yet to clean up! urghhh

last disappointment: myself

last soda drank: Fanta Grape

last thing handwritten: Today's sharing at church by sister Audrey

last word spoken: wah piang eh!

last sleep: yday morn, around 4

last im: what the heck is this ar???

last weird encounter: My friend called, supposedly my number and he was like sue anne? and the other person on the line was yeah? who's that? weirdest of all, it wasn't me on the line with him!!! weirddddd

last ice cream eaten: split!! (argh.. i oso want cookies and cream!! duckie!!!!!)

last amused: Chris, for putting idiotic icons.. hahahha

trippin on drugs?: I see no good from it, only disaster.. and I pity those who are trippin on drugs.. value ur life man

last time wanting to die: although i always say die ar, but i never want to die or even like suicide, for I know how precious life is

last time in love: though i love Him, but it's been a while since i am in love with Him... but if u talk about being in love with another person, I have never been in love with another person lor...

last time hugged: today, my little girl girl

last time scolded: dun remember.. i always scold ppl one! hahah

last chair sat in: now lor, hard chair...butt pain liao

last time lipstick used: yday, coz i look pale!

last shirt worn: my fave o'reef black top

last poster looked at: The Edge, some music conference thingy



1 MINUTE AGO: walked to my room to check something

1 HOUR AGO: on the net chatting with friends

1 DAY AGO: went to CIRCUS!! It was like so cool!!

1 WEEK AGO: lazing at home (din go churchlor)

1 YEAR AGO: in Gippy, probably on the net chatting or at someone's house

1. What do you most like about your body? my eyes

2. And least? my body? keke.. oh well, i am still me :D gotta learn to love myself

3. How many fillings do you have? dunoe lerrrr.. havent been to a dentist for ages

4. Do you think you're good looking? nope

5. Do other people tell you that you're good

looking? no, but everyone likes to say i am cute.. why ar??? I am notlarr!! haiyoooooo



FIRSTS

First job: being a daughter to my parents

First screen name: what's a screen name ar? I really duno, but my first nick from ppl is susu lor.. sigh

First funeral: MY maternal grandpa.. miss him.. he loves us all so much

First pet: bobby... but missing liao.. duno where.. btw, he's a dog

First piercing/tattoo: ear piercing

First credit card: got them when i started this job that I am in now.. they give for free mar

First Kiss: when I was a child, kissing my family members.. but if you say kissing that someone special, I am still waiting for him

First one that mattered: God

First love: God

First enemy: Devil

First big trip: Australia, going there to study

First concert: Hillsongs

First musician you remember hearing in your

house: My uncle, he plays guitar :D

Hm, didi ask me to do those questionaires in their blogs, so I'll just do one for now lar....



Name the following brands of the things you

have/Use:



1. Shampoo: Sunsilk (make hair straight!!)

2. Bags: hm, I actually can't remember what my bag's name.. haha, but mostly no brands, got like Esprit, Deuter and etclar

3. TShirt: No nice Tshirtslar, now wear working clothes more than those casual..but got Padini, Cotton On, Jay Jays

4. Sweaters: Jay Jays, Cotton On...

5. Shoes: Adidas, and heaps of sandals from Vincci, Esarli, Sembonia (working liao marr...)

6. Socks: Reebok and those that I bought in Australia

7. Toothpaste: Darlie

8. Face cleanser: Johnson and Johnson PH5.5

9. Computer: Dell Notebook

10. Wallet: Giosarrdi, Esprit

11. School Bags: Old one ar, that Deuter baglor and also the sling bag that I bought in Sydney

12. Pens: Pilot pens (coz I don't use ball point pens)

13. Cell: Nokia 2100

14. Watch: Swatch

15. Clock: No clock leii.

16. Pillow Case/Bed sheet: heh? I duno wor, din buy them meself

17. Furnitures: Tak kisah larrr

18. Cups: hm, seriously duno wat brands, coz they are not mine too!!! I know mine is the CAmpbell soup free cup lor.. haha

19. Sanrio characters: what the heck is this ar? sanrio?? sunshine i know lar

20. Magazine: Reader's Digest onie.. others dun read

21. Car: Kancil lor, Iswara lor, Saga lor, Suzuki Trooper lor, and I've driven heaps of cars!!

22. Chocolate: cadbury!! but those in Aust nicer!!! HOW COME!!!! din eat since I came back.. so cham

23. Candy: always eat ricola...coz like always got throat prob!

24. Medicine: recent one is for flu, cough, fever and phlegm.. sigh

25. Chips: wah piang eh! now edible is oni pringles! I miss Lays!!

26. Popcorn: Cinema's popcorns! except the ones in Austlar, those ar,... cannot eat one!! yucks!!

Praise the Lord God for friends! I really thank God for some of my friends. Praise God that they have come to know God as their Lord and Saviour. These are my high school friends whom I have not seen for a while. Yet each of them came to me telling the good news. I am truly amazed by Him. It's really a happy and joyous thing to know that they have accepted Christ as their Lord and Saviour and they are so fervent in seeking God in their lives. Truly, truly am full of praise right now.

ARgH!!!! SAve me ar! it's so bloody hot here! Electricity got cut off like more than an hour ago and it has yet been fixed. You must be wondering why, but I thank God for creating people who created batteries! My notebook has been running on batteries and it's dying soon though. Nonetheless it has provided me entertainment for at least so long. Seriously, I wonder how long it will take for them to fix the electricity...



Body's sweaty and sticky from the heat. And worse still, today's weather sucks, totally sucks. It's extremely hot and there's no wind at all. Gosh, now I miss Australia's weather heaps!! The nights must be cooling right at this momentt...



ARghhh.... save me ar!!!!!

It is important to be who we are, because that's what defines us. Sometimes some people try so hard to be someone that they are not, thinking to themselves, "why can't I be like that?".. "How can I be like that?" and etc, ignoring the fact that we are all different, that God has created us to be unique, to be different. We must learn to accept who we are, to see for ourselves that we are who we are, not we are who they define us to be. We learn to define ourselves, to seek the truth about ourselves and strive to be ourselves.

Weekend's Here



Well, like the title says, the weekend is here. So fast right! CAn;t believe it, another week has gone. It's like the end of the support period for us. My trainer from UK went home on Friday, and we are now officially on our own. Scary to know that, coz at least on my part I still need some help here and there. But hopefully things will be better along the way.



Hey, congrats all ISA committees and all those who helped make culture night a success. I know it's hard work and yet you all did well! Congrats!!!



KInda boring this weekend. Not much plans and all, also not feeling too well myself. Don't think I would want to talk much coz I sound funny right now. I don't sound like myself. I sound several octaves lower! Gosh, I don't even want to hear my voice at this moment. But hopefully I will be well soon as I would need to start making phone calls to customers on Monday. Sigh.. scared, but it's part of work, so hafta bear with it.



Tomorrow's mother's day. Didn't get anything for my mom. But I think I will just take her out for dinner. Don't know what to get for her. CAn;t think of anything that she wants that I can get for her. And her being a mother wouldn't allow me to buy her things when she is there. I offered last weekend when we were out, but she deliberately chose not to buy anything. Sigh, mothers. But I thank God for such a wonderful mother, one who is fair and loves her family dearly, one who bears all the sufferings and all discomfort just for her children, for her family. She is one woman that I admired and love dearly. Happy mother's day to all mothers out there. Friends, give your mom and call and wish them happy mother's day. I am sure they would be very very happy...



Thoughts are scattered, can't think of a proper way for me to write thing coherently. Am not making sense to myself too... think I'll go rest a bit...

Culture Night



To all those in the ISA committee... All the best in your preparation for the culture night event. I am sure that you are all tired and stressed out and can't wait for it to come. I can't be there to support ya all physically, but do know that I am supporting ya all from afar. Jia you alrights....



THose who are in Gippy, do go and have fun at the culture night. THere's performance that one should not miss (seriously!! I really hope to be there to see the performance by Joo, Zyan and SAmson....) and I believe also the picture taking and all with all your friends. Do take heaps, for they will be so memorable, as they are to me.



Have fun ya all ok!!! Take care and God bless

Scattered Thoughts



Today is one day that I really did rest. As there is no youth cg today I came home early and slept for a few hours. Those are good precious hours to me as I have not been sleeping well and enough for the past few days.



Lost the mood to write liao. Will continue another day when my thoughts are more well versed and prepared.