Tuesday, March 23, 2004
Being sick is no fun, especially food poisoning. Yeap, this girl here is sick with food poisoning. Sigh, vomitted and purged the whole nite through. Damn sick, can't even get a good rest at all. I've been resting at home the whole day, just sleeping and resting the whole day. Now whole body is quite weak and all. Hopefully I'll be well enough to work tomorrow. Don't feel like not working because it's like there's a lot of things that I need to do and learn from work. Can't really afford to take a break for the moment as I am still under training.
Sunday, March 21, 2004
It's weekend again. Can't believe that time do fly pretty fast. It's been over a month since I've started working in this company, and things are quite alright now. I'm under training now, been a two weeks of training, and another 6 more to go. Am learning more and more as each day passes by. Do hope that things will be better as each days goes by.
I find myself not wanting to see weekend. Weird right? Maybe it's coz I spend it alone at home most of the time. Maybe it's just me, not wanting to go out to meet friends or to hang out with them. Maybe it's also because of the fact that I have lost contact with most of them, and my regular friends are no longer my regular friends. Sometimes things are just unexpected.
Been reading some these days. Been yearning to read more and to learn more about some things. But some books are just hard to get by ya.
Am crapping. Been wondering about things recently. But don't feel like letting it out just yet.
I find myself not wanting to see weekend. Weird right? Maybe it's coz I spend it alone at home most of the time. Maybe it's just me, not wanting to go out to meet friends or to hang out with them. Maybe it's also because of the fact that I have lost contact with most of them, and my regular friends are no longer my regular friends. Sometimes things are just unexpected.
Been reading some these days. Been yearning to read more and to learn more about some things. But some books are just hard to get by ya.
Am crapping. Been wondering about things recently. But don't feel like letting it out just yet.
Thursday, March 18, 2004
Tree
The reason I'm called tree is because I'm good at painting trees. Overtime I start to use a tree on the right hand
corner as a trademark for all my watercolors painting. I have dated 5 gals when I was in Pre-U. There's one gal who I love a lot but never dare go after her. She doesn't have a pretty face, doesn't have a good figure, doesn't have outstanding charm. She is just a very ordinary gal. I like her. I really like her. Like her innocent, like her frankness. Like her cuteness, like her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going after her is because I felt somebody so ordinary like her is not a good match for me. I'm also afraid that after we are together all the good feelings will vanish. I'm also afraid other's gossips will hurt her. I felt that if she's my gal, she will be mine ultimately & I don't have to give up everything just for her. The last reason, made her accompany me for 3 years. She watch me chase after gals, and I have make her heart cry for 3 years. She wants to be a good actress and I'm a very demanding director.
When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smile & say "Go on!" before
running off. The next day, her eyes was swollen like a walnut. I purposely didn't want to think about what causes her
to cry but laugh at her the whole day. When everybody go back home, she was alone crying in the classroom. She didn't know that I returned from soccer training to get something. I watch her cry for an hour or so. My 4th girlfriend didn't like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she's not the type that will start off the quarrel. But I still sided with my girlfriend.
I shouted at her and her eyes was filled shocked. I didn't care about her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend. The next day, she still laugh & joke with me like nothing has ever happened. I know that she's very hurt but she didn't know that my heart ache is as bad as hers. When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her out. After going out for a day, I told her that I have something to tell her. She told me that coincidentally, she has something to tell me too. I told her about my break up and she told me about her getting together. I know who is the guy. He has been going after her for quite a while. A very cute guy full of energy, lively and interesting. His pursuit for her has been the talk of the school.
I can't show her my heart ache but could only smile & congratulate her. When I reach home, the heart ache is so strong that I can't stand it. It's like a heavy weighted stone on my chest. I couldn't breath. Wanted to shout but can't. Tears rolled down & I broke down & cry. How many times have I seen her cry for the man that doesn't acknowledge her presence too.
During graduation, I read a sms in my hp. It was send 10 days ago when I broke down and cry. I haven't read it since then. It says "Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay??"
Leaf
During Pre-U days, I like to collect leaves. Why? Because I felt that for a leaf to leave the tree she has been relying on for so long it takes a lot of courage. During the 3 years of Pre-U I was on very close terms with a guy. Not BGR kind but as buddy kind. But when he had his 1st girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy. The sourness in the heart can't be describe by using a lemon. It's like 100 rotten sour lemon. Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 mths. When they broke up, I hide my strong sense of happiness. But after a mth, he got together with another gal. I like him & I know he like me. But why won't he pursue me? Since he love me why he doesn't want to make the first move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. Time after time, my heart was hurt. I begin to suspect that this is a one sided love. If he don't like he, why does he treat me so well. It's beyond what you will normally do for a friend. Liking a person is very heart wrenching. I can know his likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me I can never figure out. You can't expect me a gal to ask him right? Despite that, I still want to be by his side. Care for him, accompany him, love him. Hoping that one fine day, he will come & love me. It's like waiting for his phone call every night,
wanting him to send me sms. I know that no matter how busy he is, he will make time for me. Because of this, I waited for him. The 3 years were the hardest to go through & I really want to give up. Sometimes, I wonder should I continue waiting. The pain and hurt, the dilemma accompany me for 3 years.
Till the end of my 3rd year, a 2nd year junior begins to go after me. Everyday he pursuit me relentlessly. From outright rejection to a point in time when I felt that I'm willing to let him have a small footing in my heart. He's like a warm & gentle wind, trying to blow a leaf away from the tree. In the end, I realized that I didn't want to give this wind a small footing in my heart. I know this wind will bring this badly battered leave far away & better land. Finally I left tree, but the tree only smile & didn't ask me to stay.
Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay??
Wind
Because I like a gal called leaf. Because she's so dependent on tree so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I first met her, it was 1 mth after I transfer to the new school. I saw a petite person looking at my seniors & me playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitting there. Be it alone or with her friends looking at him. When he talks with gals there's jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit. Just like she likes to look at him. One day, she didn't appear. I felt something amissed.I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness. The senior was also not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at
him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note & gave to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accept the note. The next day, she appeared & pass me a note and left.
"Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away."
"It's not that leaf heart is too heavy.
It because leaf never want to leave tree."
I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls. I know that the person she loves is not me. But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me. Within 4 mths, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times. Every time, she will divert away from the topic. But I never give up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over. I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her.
Although I know she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope. Hoping that she will agree to me my girlfriend. I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone. I asked "what are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply?"
She said, "I'm nodding my head."
"Ah?"
I couldn' t believe my ears.
"I'm nodding my head" She replied loudly.
I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place & press her door bell. During the moment when she opens the door. I hugged her tightly.
Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay??
The reason I'm called tree is because I'm good at painting trees. Overtime I start to use a tree on the right hand
corner as a trademark for all my watercolors painting. I have dated 5 gals when I was in Pre-U. There's one gal who I love a lot but never dare go after her. She doesn't have a pretty face, doesn't have a good figure, doesn't have outstanding charm. She is just a very ordinary gal. I like her. I really like her. Like her innocent, like her frankness. Like her cuteness, like her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going after her is because I felt somebody so ordinary like her is not a good match for me. I'm also afraid that after we are together all the good feelings will vanish. I'm also afraid other's gossips will hurt her. I felt that if she's my gal, she will be mine ultimately & I don't have to give up everything just for her. The last reason, made her accompany me for 3 years. She watch me chase after gals, and I have make her heart cry for 3 years. She wants to be a good actress and I'm a very demanding director.
When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smile & say "Go on!" before
running off. The next day, her eyes was swollen like a walnut. I purposely didn't want to think about what causes her
to cry but laugh at her the whole day. When everybody go back home, she was alone crying in the classroom. She didn't know that I returned from soccer training to get something. I watch her cry for an hour or so. My 4th girlfriend didn't like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she's not the type that will start off the quarrel. But I still sided with my girlfriend.
I shouted at her and her eyes was filled shocked. I didn't care about her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend. The next day, she still laugh & joke with me like nothing has ever happened. I know that she's very hurt but she didn't know that my heart ache is as bad as hers. When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her out. After going out for a day, I told her that I have something to tell her. She told me that coincidentally, she has something to tell me too. I told her about my break up and she told me about her getting together. I know who is the guy. He has been going after her for quite a while. A very cute guy full of energy, lively and interesting. His pursuit for her has been the talk of the school.
I can't show her my heart ache but could only smile & congratulate her. When I reach home, the heart ache is so strong that I can't stand it. It's like a heavy weighted stone on my chest. I couldn't breath. Wanted to shout but can't. Tears rolled down & I broke down & cry. How many times have I seen her cry for the man that doesn't acknowledge her presence too.
During graduation, I read a sms in my hp. It was send 10 days ago when I broke down and cry. I haven't read it since then. It says "Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay??"
Leaf
During Pre-U days, I like to collect leaves. Why? Because I felt that for a leaf to leave the tree she has been relying on for so long it takes a lot of courage. During the 3 years of Pre-U I was on very close terms with a guy. Not BGR kind but as buddy kind. But when he had his 1st girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy. The sourness in the heart can't be describe by using a lemon. It's like 100 rotten sour lemon. Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 mths. When they broke up, I hide my strong sense of happiness. But after a mth, he got together with another gal. I like him & I know he like me. But why won't he pursue me? Since he love me why he doesn't want to make the first move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. Time after time, my heart was hurt. I begin to suspect that this is a one sided love. If he don't like he, why does he treat me so well. It's beyond what you will normally do for a friend. Liking a person is very heart wrenching. I can know his likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me I can never figure out. You can't expect me a gal to ask him right? Despite that, I still want to be by his side. Care for him, accompany him, love him. Hoping that one fine day, he will come & love me. It's like waiting for his phone call every night,
wanting him to send me sms. I know that no matter how busy he is, he will make time for me. Because of this, I waited for him. The 3 years were the hardest to go through & I really want to give up. Sometimes, I wonder should I continue waiting. The pain and hurt, the dilemma accompany me for 3 years.
Till the end of my 3rd year, a 2nd year junior begins to go after me. Everyday he pursuit me relentlessly. From outright rejection to a point in time when I felt that I'm willing to let him have a small footing in my heart. He's like a warm & gentle wind, trying to blow a leaf away from the tree. In the end, I realized that I didn't want to give this wind a small footing in my heart. I know this wind will bring this badly battered leave far away & better land. Finally I left tree, but the tree only smile & didn't ask me to stay.
Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay??
Wind
Because I like a gal called leaf. Because she's so dependent on tree so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I first met her, it was 1 mth after I transfer to the new school. I saw a petite person looking at my seniors & me playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitting there. Be it alone or with her friends looking at him. When he talks with gals there's jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit. Just like she likes to look at him. One day, she didn't appear. I felt something amissed.I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness. The senior was also not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at
him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note & gave to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accept the note. The next day, she appeared & pass me a note and left.
"Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away."
"It's not that leaf heart is too heavy.
It because leaf never want to leave tree."
I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls. I know that the person she loves is not me. But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me. Within 4 mths, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times. Every time, she will divert away from the topic. But I never give up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over. I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her.
Although I know she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope. Hoping that she will agree to me my girlfriend. I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone. I asked "what are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply?"
She said, "I'm nodding my head."
"Ah?"
I couldn' t believe my ears.
"I'm nodding my head" She replied loudly.
I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place & press her door bell. During the moment when she opens the door. I hugged her tightly.
Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay??
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
A- Age: 21 going 22
B- Boyfriend: no
c- Chore u hate: I hate housechores!!!! hate them hate them!!! (Ok, that was a bit drastic. I would just opt not to do it if I can, tho that doesn't happen often at home)
D- Did it before: Of course not, purity is important
E- Essential make up item: Eem, does lip balm counts???
F- Favorite actor: Erm, I don't have one??
G- Gold or silver: Both, but preference is silver though
H- Hometown: erm, Bentong? That's me dad's hometown
I- Instruments you play: Does voice count? But I can't play with my voice.. so u decide
J- Job title: Customer Service Executive
K- Kids: Love them heaps
L- Living arrangements: Family, but currently with my aunt due to my working hours (odd ones)
M- Mom's name: Peng
N- Number of times you yawn in a daY? : Don't count but it varies day to day due to the environment and the activities of the day :D
O- Overnight hospital stays: Not that I know of, well, except during my birth
P- Phobia: Not very sure, but overall don't think I have any in the mean time
Q- Quote you like to say: Live life to the fullest!
R- Regular drink: Water? These days always drinking milo and neslo (what to do, sleepy in work)
S- Secret crush: Used to have, but not now (freedom of mind)
T- Time you wake up: Super late, coz I sleep super late!!
U- Unique habit: Hyper for no reason???
V- Vegetable you refuse to eaT: Lotsssssssssssss
W- Worst habit: Messy... keke
X- X-rays youve had: one for the visa for australia, and the recent one was for work
Y- Yummy food you make: Erm, lamb chop and pasta salad?
Z- Zodiac sign: VIRGO
OK... quite bored with work these days.. hence this thingy here... have fun with it guys. Feel free to copy and paste and do it in ur own blog :D
B- Boyfriend: no
c- Chore u hate: I hate housechores!!!! hate them hate them!!! (Ok, that was a bit drastic. I would just opt not to do it if I can, tho that doesn't happen often at home)
D- Did it before: Of course not, purity is important
E- Essential make up item: Eem, does lip balm counts???
F- Favorite actor: Erm, I don't have one??
G- Gold or silver: Both, but preference is silver though
H- Hometown: erm, Bentong? That's me dad's hometown
I- Instruments you play: Does voice count? But I can't play with my voice.. so u decide
J- Job title: Customer Service Executive
K- Kids: Love them heaps
L- Living arrangements: Family, but currently with my aunt due to my working hours (odd ones)
M- Mom's name: Peng
N- Number of times you yawn in a daY? : Don't count but it varies day to day due to the environment and the activities of the day :D
O- Overnight hospital stays: Not that I know of, well, except during my birth
P- Phobia: Not very sure, but overall don't think I have any in the mean time
Q- Quote you like to say: Live life to the fullest!
R- Regular drink: Water? These days always drinking milo and neslo (what to do, sleepy in work)
S- Secret crush: Used to have, but not now (freedom of mind)
T- Time you wake up: Super late, coz I sleep super late!!
U- Unique habit: Hyper for no reason???
V- Vegetable you refuse to eaT: Lotsssssssssssss
W- Worst habit: Messy... keke
X- X-rays youve had: one for the visa for australia, and the recent one was for work
Y- Yummy food you make: Erm, lamb chop and pasta salad?
Z- Zodiac sign: VIRGO
OK... quite bored with work these days.. hence this thingy here... have fun with it guys. Feel free to copy and paste and do it in ur own blog :D
Sunday, March 14, 2004
It's been a while since I've written anything, so I guess it would be good that I input some things regarding my life recently. As you all know, I am working now. Finished my three fun weeks of inductions and now into serious stuff! Seriously, it's really, undoubtly, frighteningly serious. I just hope that I will be able to handle it. It's not extremely hard, and it sounds fun too, but just will be dealing with things that is kinda worrisome. Hope I won't be careless and cause trouble! keke..
Ok, been out sometimes with friends, hanging out, doing nothing actually. Am getting bored with the cycle of things in my life right now. Sometimes I do wish that I am back in Gippy, dropping by at people's house, saying hi, laughing with friends and also doing silly stuff. But I guess it ain't no good to always look back right?
What is there for me to say? There are things in my life, but I find that some things are just too serious for me to say it here. I know people have a lot of inputs in regards of what we write and what we question in our lives, but I rather think of things myself for now.
I wish everyone al the best in their life and I do hope that you all will be able to handle things well. Continue to strive for what you're doing in your life and continue to be strong!
Ok, been out sometimes with friends, hanging out, doing nothing actually. Am getting bored with the cycle of things in my life right now. Sometimes I do wish that I am back in Gippy, dropping by at people's house, saying hi, laughing with friends and also doing silly stuff. But I guess it ain't no good to always look back right?
What is there for me to say? There are things in my life, but I find that some things are just too serious for me to say it here. I know people have a lot of inputs in regards of what we write and what we question in our lives, but I rather think of things myself for now.
I wish everyone al the best in their life and I do hope that you all will be able to handle things well. Continue to strive for what you're doing in your life and continue to be strong!
Friday, March 5, 2004
Kinda pissed off today.. for the life of me i have no idea how a driver can knocked into my car which is parked properly!! It caused a dent on the right passenger door! My goodness man.. so damn pissed off.. must be an idiotic driver...
sigh.. so dented.... now duno how much i need to fork out to undent the darn thing.. sian man.. sick of it lio.. rili idiot lar...
sigh.. so dented.... now duno how much i need to fork out to undent the darn thing.. sian man.. sick of it lio.. rili idiot lar...
Wednesday, March 3, 2004
Came back from work not long.. it's 2 something in the morn and i should be in bed for now. Yet, as usual, I don't listen to my own advice. Oh well...
These days I am feeling kinda bored, it's like there nothing much for me to do, but yet, there are heaps for me to do at the same time. Weird hor??? But I guess we do experience this quite often.
There is a need for us in the training to write a report, starting tomorrow and it will be graded. My goodness... seriously, I thought I've escaped this part of my education when I graduate. It seems that I have not.. sigh... wish me luck man, coz I need to write like what we did (not as detailed though I think) but enough to beas thick as our usual reports.. arghh!! Kill me pls!!!
These days I am feeling kinda bored, it's like there nothing much for me to do, but yet, there are heaps for me to do at the same time. Weird hor??? But I guess we do experience this quite often.
There is a need for us in the training to write a report, starting tomorrow and it will be graded. My goodness... seriously, I thought I've escaped this part of my education when I graduate. It seems that I have not.. sigh... wish me luck man, coz I need to write like what we did (not as detailed though I think) but enough to beas thick as our usual reports.. arghh!! Kill me pls!!!
Tuesday, March 2, 2004
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)