this week has proven to be tough for me at work, similar to the night where i went to watch the play. need to think about certain things right now and to make some decision in my life.
i've hurt my friend's feelings again this week. twice in a roll. how cruel can i be? yet how can i remember everything? sometimes i wonder if i am to take this blame, yet, i do play a part in this and thus, i will bear the blame still.
don't know what to say, don't know how to apologise, don't know what to do..
sigh, God, thank U still that I can rejoice even though things are tough, coz I know U are with me still. Do pull me through this trying times I plead...
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Last Monday, 6th Nov 06
Okay, I havent been bloggin for a while. Those who saw me last week would be able to see how stressed out I was at work! Rest assured, I am fine now and things are going on a slow pace (until the next wave of work pile up on me again). Okay, I think I need to justify why I was stressed given that this is a new job and all. Basically, I am required to present my project to our sales general manager and it was quite intense scrutiny as they need to ensure that the event would work and thus, I must be super confident during the presentation (which I’m afraid offffffff) and be able to handle their shots (questions by definition). I was stressed as I was not fully prepared (I feel that I am not) and it’s been quite a while since I need to do such presentation. Sigh, but God is great. As I prayed for peace, it was granted to me and I was quite myself during the presentation. Truly, I thank God for being with me at all times, even though sometimes my little mind cannot comprehend Him.
This week is a little slower after Monday. I’ve done up most of the things that I need to do and I’m actually quite free, come to think of it. I can’t wait for Friday to come, so that I can hang out at my friend’s place for board games and such. But first, there’s this month end session at a bar nearby organised by my office. Since I am new, I gotta give face, so I would definitely be late to my friend’s place. Sigh, it’s gona be crazy, for the fact that the place is at the jammest area eva! Oh well, we are to take things in stride aren’t we JRight now I’m feeling bored and sleepy, counting the time to go home, in 17 minutes! Yay!!
This week is a little slower after Monday. I’ve done up most of the things that I need to do and I’m actually quite free, come to think of it. I can’t wait for Friday to come, so that I can hang out at my friend’s place for board games and such. But first, there’s this month end session at a bar nearby organised by my office. Since I am new, I gotta give face, so I would definitely be late to my friend’s place. Sigh, it’s gona be crazy, for the fact that the place is at the jammest area eva! Oh well, we are to take things in stride aren’t we JRight now I’m feeling bored and sleepy, counting the time to go home, in 17 minutes! Yay!!
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Saturday, November 4, 2006
Living Bible
His name is Bill. He has wild hair, wears a T-shirt with holes in it, jeans
and no shoes. This was literally his wardrobe for his entire four years of
college. He is brilliant, kind of profound and very, very bright. He became
a Christian while attending college.
Across the street from the campus is a well-dressed, very conservative
church. They want to develop a ministry to the students but are not sure
how to go about it.
One day Bill decides to go there. He walks in with no shoes, wearing his
jeans, his T-shirt, and wild hair. The service has already started
and so Bill starts down the aisle looking for a seat. The church is
completely packed and he can't find a seat. By now, people are really
looking a bit uncomfortable, but no one says anything.
Bill gets closer and closer and closer to the pulpit, and when he realizes
there are no seats, he just squats down right on the carpet. By now the
people are really uptight, and the tension in the air is thick. About this
time, the minister realizes that from way at the back of the church, a
deacon is slowly making his way toward Bill.
Now the deacon is in his eighties, has silver-gray hair, and a three-piece
suit. He is a godly man, very elegant, very dignified and very courtly. He
walks with a cane and, as he starts walking toward this boy, everyone is
saying to themselves that you can't blame him for what he's going to do.
How can you expect a man of his age and of his background to understand
some college kid on the floor? It takes a long time for the man to reach
the boy.
The church is utterly silent except for the clicking of the man's cane. All
eyes are focused on him. You can't even hear anyone breathing. The minister
can't even preach the sermon until the deacon does what he has to do.
And now they see this elderly man drop his cane on the floor. With great
difficulty, he lowers himself and sits down next to Bill and worships with
him so he won't be alone.
Everyone chokes up with emotion. When the minister gains control, he says,
"What I'm about to preach, you will never remember. What you have just
seen, you will never forget."
"Be careful how you live. You may be the only Bible some people will ever read!"
I asked the Lord to bless you as I prayed for you today.
To guide you and protect you as you go along your way.
His love is always with you,
His promises are true,
And when we give Him all our cares,
You know He will see us through.
and no shoes. This was literally his wardrobe for his entire four years of
college. He is brilliant, kind of profound and very, very bright. He became
a Christian while attending college.
Across the street from the campus is a well-dressed, very conservative
church. They want to develop a ministry to the students but are not sure
how to go about it.
One day Bill decides to go there. He walks in with no shoes, wearing his
jeans, his T-shirt, and wild hair. The service has already started
and so Bill starts down the aisle looking for a seat. The church is
completely packed and he can't find a seat. By now, people are really
looking a bit uncomfortable, but no one says anything.
Bill gets closer and closer and closer to the pulpit, and when he realizes
there are no seats, he just squats down right on the carpet. By now the
people are really uptight, and the tension in the air is thick. About this
time, the minister realizes that from way at the back of the church, a
deacon is slowly making his way toward Bill.
Now the deacon is in his eighties, has silver-gray hair, and a three-piece
suit. He is a godly man, very elegant, very dignified and very courtly. He
walks with a cane and, as he starts walking toward this boy, everyone is
saying to themselves that you can't blame him for what he's going to do.
How can you expect a man of his age and of his background to understand
some college kid on the floor? It takes a long time for the man to reach
the boy.
The church is utterly silent except for the clicking of the man's cane. All
eyes are focused on him. You can't even hear anyone breathing. The minister
can't even preach the sermon until the deacon does what he has to do.
And now they see this elderly man drop his cane on the floor. With great
difficulty, he lowers himself and sits down next to Bill and worships with
him so he won't be alone.
Everyone chokes up with emotion. When the minister gains control, he says,
"What I'm about to preach, you will never remember. What you have just
seen, you will never forget."
"Be careful how you live. You may be the only Bible some people will ever read!"
I asked the Lord to bless you as I prayed for you today.
To guide you and protect you as you go along your way.
His love is always with you,
His promises are true,
And when we give Him all our cares,
You know He will see us through.
Friday, October 27, 2006
Prophecy of Jesus being the Messiah
Realization hits me! The old testament prophesy of Jesus' coming years before He was born and us, being around.. read of it, heard of it. But I come to understand this, that Jesus came and fulfilled the prophesy of His death, so that we may LIVE
Old testament:
So they weighed out for my wages thirty pieces of silver... throw it to the potter-that princely price they set on me
new testament:
For 30 shekles, Judas sold Jesus to the Pharisees and such, sealing and fulfilling the prophesy
Old testament:
He was oppressed and He was afflicted, yet He opened not His mouth; He was led as a lamb to the slaughter
new testament:
Jesus was whipped, tortured and was led by the Roman soldiers up to the calvary, but He did not complain nor lament..... He accepted the affliction caused
Old testament:
And they made His grave with the wicked-but with the rich at His death
new testament:
He was crucified with the robbers/thief- and buried by Nicoedemus at the cave
Old testament:
He poured out His soul unto death, and He was numbered with the transgressors, and He bore the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors
new testament:
Jesus prayed and said, Forgive them Father, for they know not what they are doing
Old testament:
He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed, All we like sheep have gone astray
new testament:
Did not Jesus suffered the afflictions by the ROman torturous methods? By His stripes, WE ARE HEALED
Dear Father in heaven,
Ya know, Following U is something that I want to do, and it hits me when I realise what great sacrifice U've done so that we may come before U once again. Father, I ask for Ur forgiveness, for I've done a great lot of things that is not right by Ur sight. Forgive me Father. I come before U today Lord.. not asking for anything, but wanting to be in Ur presence...
Old testament:
So they weighed out for my wages thirty pieces of silver... throw it to the potter-that princely price they set on me
new testament:
For 30 shekles, Judas sold Jesus to the Pharisees and such, sealing and fulfilling the prophesy
Old testament:
He was oppressed and He was afflicted, yet He opened not His mouth; He was led as a lamb to the slaughter
new testament:
Jesus was whipped, tortured and was led by the Roman soldiers up to the calvary, but He did not complain nor lament..... He accepted the affliction caused
Old testament:
And they made His grave with the wicked-but with the rich at His death
new testament:
He was crucified with the robbers/thief- and buried by Nicoedemus at the cave
Old testament:
He poured out His soul unto death, and He was numbered with the transgressors, and He bore the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors
new testament:
Jesus prayed and said, Forgive them Father, for they know not what they are doing
Old testament:
He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed, All we like sheep have gone astray
new testament:
Did not Jesus suffered the afflictions by the ROman torturous methods? By His stripes, WE ARE HEALED
Dear Father in heaven,
Ya know, Following U is something that I want to do, and it hits me when I realise what great sacrifice U've done so that we may come before U once again. Father, I ask for Ur forgiveness, for I've done a great lot of things that is not right by Ur sight. Forgive me Father. I come before U today Lord.. not asking for anything, but wanting to be in Ur presence...
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Ponderings of a girl
26 Oct 2006
Don’t feel like writing, so I’m typing instead. It’s hard for a girl/woman when it comes to the emotional side of things. It’s even harder when it comes to the matter of the opposite gender, where our hearts turned frail and mushy and desolation sets in when there is nothing happening in that aspect.
Being a girl myself, it’s typical that I do feel that too. Sometimes things can be such a downturn that you wonder whether God really have someone in store for you in your life so that you can spend the rest of your life with him (or if you’re a guy reading this, her). You see people being so lovey dovey and you ask God, will I get someone who would love me for who I am, for the person You’ve created me to be? Then again, there are days when you find, hey! FREEDOM! You can just do whatever you want when you’re single and not worry about anything. You can go and serve God wherever He wants you to go, you don’t have to worry about things that may bog you down (of coz, work is one and your immediate family is one, but we shall put that aside for another day J) You don’t have to worry like your friend does, aiya, I need to check with my boyfriend first to see if it’s ok if I join you guys (come one mate, you’re not married to him .. YET).
Hey, I’m not criticizing those that are attached and all, just seeing things from a different viewpoint that’s all. Haha, who knows in the near future I might end up being like that too, calling and checking with my boyfriend (whoever that is) to let him know that I’m meeting who and who and where and when.
Being a girl, I do wish to be on the other side of the picture. Ya know, human sometimes do think that the grass is greener on the other side (well, it does, doesn’t it, to have someone to love and to care for you and to be assured when you need assurance. Of coz, what I meant is a deeper level of love and caring and support). Ya know, to be able to find someone who truly loves you, and all. Sometimes, we also wonder whether we’re destined to be single as well. I know of friends who prayed that God would not let them be single for the rest of their lives, friends who came to accept their singlehood and friends who desperately seeking for that one partner in their lives (ok, I’ve learnt of something during the camp that we ought not to think of it this way, but I betcha there’s heaps who are thinking this way, probably due to the fact that this is what the TV and movies portray, meet your prince charming, he’s the only one and you live happily ever after. Better not go this direction else it’ll be a big diversion).
Being 24 and haven’t even dated before, it’s hardly always positive for me. I’ve dealt with self esteem, self worth and there are still things that I need to deal with. I think anyone would, when people around you asked you the following questions:
- do you have a boyfriend? (when you answer no, series of questions shot out from their mouth)
- have you paktoh before?
- How come never?
- But…
That’s when I look at them in wonderment and ask, I also wish to know why I’ve never paktoh (dated) before. Maybe coz I was never asked by anyone to be their girlfriend? (ok, NO, I will NOT simple say YES just because someone comes up to me and ask me that question). To be honest, I think these kind of questions, although meant well at times, is not that appropriate. Do you know that you will end up hurting the person you’re asking. I know I did during the first few times people asked me that question. During those times I think of questions like:
- Am I not that attractive?
- Am I really that plain?
- Do guys really think of pretty girls (this one I duno ok!) and go for them?
- Does God really want me to be single for my whole life (gotta admit that I’m scared to know the answer to this question)
- Are guys repelled by me?
And a whole list of questions more. I guess the struggles I went through made me strong as well, for I know I am beautiful, for all of God’s creation is beautiful. Beauty should be seen from God’s eyes and not men. Sometimes these questions do creep into my life time and again, but I’ve learnt and am still learning to continue to trust God’s plan for my life. I figured, heck, I’m only 24, who knows, I might meet a guy later and get married right away after that (haha, my friends would probably freak out). Only God have the masterplan in my life and thus, it’s alright.
Ya know, I’ve friends who said this to me, why not just try out with whoever? Who knows, he might be the right one. I know this works for someone, but for my personality and character, I guess this style of try first and see how doesn’t really work for me? The try that I meant here is the kind where you’re a little teeny weeny attracted to a guy and he comes after you and you just say ok without really thinking through. There’s bound to be some criteria (physical criterias aside) that you would want the other party to fulfill. I’m not the kind that want a person to change himself to suit me… but yet, there are things that I do hope that my partner would have. I just want someone who loves God, who would put God even before me, who would love me for who I am and is genuine with himself and with others. I can’t just try with any other guys who come into the picture (haha, it sounds like there’s a lot, but there isn’t any for a while). I guess that’s just me and who I am.
Ya know, it’s tough at times, being single, hanging out with your friends and their boyfriends. I mean, it’s great that you know, they are together and all, but it’s just that sometimes it makes me think about my singleness a bit more than usual. Things such as self-worth, beauty in the eyes of the beholder, self-esteem does crop into your mind and it’s hard to control the self-pity that seems to be screaming to be let out.
A girlfriend of mine is going through this at the moment. And being through it myself, I still can’t find the words to console her and help her pull through it. I don’t know what I can say to her to make her feel better, to help her feel God’s love in her life (she knows that God does love her, but sometimes things just don’t seem to be as positive as you want it to be eh). There are a lot of other factors that comes into to play, but as a respect to her, I will not reveal too much. I can only pray that God will continue to touch her, for I know He is by her side at all times, and He knows of her tiredness, her weariness and also her desire and feelings. Being her friend, even right now, I guess all I can do is just to lend an ear and a shoulder for her to cry/lean on. Even so, I do pray that the Lord will grant me wisdom to be sensitive to her needs and feelings and to help her through this. And I also pray that ya know, she will lay her burden, her tiredness and her despair before God and allow Him to hold her once again.
Ok, I know I’ve rattled quite a bit and I should stop now. Girls out there who are seeking and even guys, I really do trust that God knows what is best for us and maybe, at the moment, He’s using our singlehood to mold us to be the person that He wants us to be and at the same time doing the same for our life partner as well. I do trust that He will bring that person into my life and at the moment, I do pray that God will continue to take good care of him until the time comes for us to meet and be together.
So at the moment, DO ENJOY your singlehood and use it to do wonders for GOD!
26 Oct 2006
Don’t feel like writing, so I’m typing instead. It’s hard for a girl/woman when it comes to the emotional side of things. It’s even harder when it comes to the matter of the opposite gender, where our hearts turned frail and mushy and desolation sets in when there is nothing happening in that aspect.
Being a girl myself, it’s typical that I do feel that too. Sometimes things can be such a downturn that you wonder whether God really have someone in store for you in your life so that you can spend the rest of your life with him (or if you’re a guy reading this, her). You see people being so lovey dovey and you ask God, will I get someone who would love me for who I am, for the person You’ve created me to be? Then again, there are days when you find, hey! FREEDOM! You can just do whatever you want when you’re single and not worry about anything. You can go and serve God wherever He wants you to go, you don’t have to worry about things that may bog you down (of coz, work is one and your immediate family is one, but we shall put that aside for another day J) You don’t have to worry like your friend does, aiya, I need to check with my boyfriend first to see if it’s ok if I join you guys (come one mate, you’re not married to him .. YET).
Hey, I’m not criticizing those that are attached and all, just seeing things from a different viewpoint that’s all. Haha, who knows in the near future I might end up being like that too, calling and checking with my boyfriend (whoever that is) to let him know that I’m meeting who and who and where and when.
Being a girl, I do wish to be on the other side of the picture. Ya know, human sometimes do think that the grass is greener on the other side (well, it does, doesn’t it, to have someone to love and to care for you and to be assured when you need assurance. Of coz, what I meant is a deeper level of love and caring and support). Ya know, to be able to find someone who truly loves you, and all. Sometimes, we also wonder whether we’re destined to be single as well. I know of friends who prayed that God would not let them be single for the rest of their lives, friends who came to accept their singlehood and friends who desperately seeking for that one partner in their lives (ok, I’ve learnt of something during the camp that we ought not to think of it this way, but I betcha there’s heaps who are thinking this way, probably due to the fact that this is what the TV and movies portray, meet your prince charming, he’s the only one and you live happily ever after. Better not go this direction else it’ll be a big diversion).
Being 24 and haven’t even dated before, it’s hardly always positive for me. I’ve dealt with self esteem, self worth and there are still things that I need to deal with. I think anyone would, when people around you asked you the following questions:
- do you have a boyfriend? (when you answer no, series of questions shot out from their mouth)
- have you paktoh before?
- How come never?
- But…
That’s when I look at them in wonderment and ask, I also wish to know why I’ve never paktoh (dated) before. Maybe coz I was never asked by anyone to be their girlfriend? (ok, NO, I will NOT simple say YES just because someone comes up to me and ask me that question). To be honest, I think these kind of questions, although meant well at times, is not that appropriate. Do you know that you will end up hurting the person you’re asking. I know I did during the first few times people asked me that question. During those times I think of questions like:
- Am I not that attractive?
- Am I really that plain?
- Do guys really think of pretty girls (this one I duno ok!) and go for them?
- Does God really want me to be single for my whole life (gotta admit that I’m scared to know the answer to this question)
- Are guys repelled by me?
And a whole list of questions more. I guess the struggles I went through made me strong as well, for I know I am beautiful, for all of God’s creation is beautiful. Beauty should be seen from God’s eyes and not men. Sometimes these questions do creep into my life time and again, but I’ve learnt and am still learning to continue to trust God’s plan for my life. I figured, heck, I’m only 24, who knows, I might meet a guy later and get married right away after that (haha, my friends would probably freak out). Only God have the masterplan in my life and thus, it’s alright.
Ya know, I’ve friends who said this to me, why not just try out with whoever? Who knows, he might be the right one. I know this works for someone, but for my personality and character, I guess this style of try first and see how doesn’t really work for me? The try that I meant here is the kind where you’re a little teeny weeny attracted to a guy and he comes after you and you just say ok without really thinking through. There’s bound to be some criteria (physical criterias aside) that you would want the other party to fulfill. I’m not the kind that want a person to change himself to suit me… but yet, there are things that I do hope that my partner would have. I just want someone who loves God, who would put God even before me, who would love me for who I am and is genuine with himself and with others. I can’t just try with any other guys who come into the picture (haha, it sounds like there’s a lot, but there isn’t any for a while). I guess that’s just me and who I am.
Ya know, it’s tough at times, being single, hanging out with your friends and their boyfriends. I mean, it’s great that you know, they are together and all, but it’s just that sometimes it makes me think about my singleness a bit more than usual. Things such as self-worth, beauty in the eyes of the beholder, self-esteem does crop into your mind and it’s hard to control the self-pity that seems to be screaming to be let out.
A girlfriend of mine is going through this at the moment. And being through it myself, I still can’t find the words to console her and help her pull through it. I don’t know what I can say to her to make her feel better, to help her feel God’s love in her life (she knows that God does love her, but sometimes things just don’t seem to be as positive as you want it to be eh). There are a lot of other factors that comes into to play, but as a respect to her, I will not reveal too much. I can only pray that God will continue to touch her, for I know He is by her side at all times, and He knows of her tiredness, her weariness and also her desire and feelings. Being her friend, even right now, I guess all I can do is just to lend an ear and a shoulder for her to cry/lean on. Even so, I do pray that the Lord will grant me wisdom to be sensitive to her needs and feelings and to help her through this. And I also pray that ya know, she will lay her burden, her tiredness and her despair before God and allow Him to hold her once again.
Ok, I know I’ve rattled quite a bit and I should stop now. Girls out there who are seeking and even guys, I really do trust that God knows what is best for us and maybe, at the moment, He’s using our singlehood to mold us to be the person that He wants us to be and at the same time doing the same for our life partner as well. I do trust that He will bring that person into my life and at the moment, I do pray that God will continue to take good care of him until the time comes for us to meet and be together.
So at the moment, DO ENJOY your singlehood and use it to do wonders for GOD!
God's Glorious Creation
Today I'm reminded of God's glorious creation. It's a wonder, with the sky's clear, rays of sun breaking through the clouds, bringing light to the earth. Really, the song, I stand in awe comes to mind right now as I write these words. His beautiful creation never cease to amaze and make me in awe.. I truly do thank God for the wonders of the world, be it the small one or the great ones, as they represent His love for us.
Today I'm reminded of God's glorious creation. It's a wonder, with the sky's clear, rays of sun breaking through the clouds, bringing light to the earth. Really, the song, I stand in awe comes to mind right now as I write these words. His beautiful creation never cease to amaze and make me in awe.. I truly do thank God for the wonders of the world, be it the small one or the great ones, as they represent His love for us.
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